


Between the Lights

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Cage Fights, Flashbacks, Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-11
Updated: 2011-07-11
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:14:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skwisgaar is abducted and finds himself held captive in a very dangerous situation, where he meets Toki.<br/>Takes place right after the Renovationklok flashback.<br/>Warning: Non-con.  I’m not calling it rape because neither side wants to be doing it, they don’t have any choice. Non-con flashbacks, memories, and nightmares.  Also, minor character death.</p><p>This was originally in 2 chapters due to length, but I put it back as 1 here because I hadn't wanted to split it in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between the Lights

The night had certainly started out well enough.  
They’d all gone out drinking, celebrating finally getting signed. Out of all the bands Skwisgaar had ever been in, this one definitely had the best potential to keep rising forever.   
Eventually though, his attention turned from his bandmates to the bar’s selection of available women.

One in particular caught his eye, she looked a little out of place in this seedy bar. A truly beautiful woman, who he’d caught eyeing the band from her place at the bar. Deciding he’d better grab her before someone else did, Skwisgaar wandered over. She smiled as he approached, always a good sign.

“What ams a pretty ladies like youself doesing drinksing alone?”  
“Well Honey, I was just waiting for the right guy to sweep me up and take me away.” She sipped her drink in what somehow managed to be a seductive manner.  
He’d didn’t have a car, of course. “Ja? You gots a ride?”  
She nodded and stood up, crooking a finger and beckoning him to follow her.

Skwisgaar smiled, that was even easier that usual. Turning to his bandmates, he waved to get their attention, and then pointed at the lady.  
Then nodded, Skwisgaar getting laid again, business as usual.  
She was waiting. Together they went out into the parking lot and got in her car. She held out something small. “Breath mint.”  
With a shrug, he ate it. It didn’t taste very good, but that was likely because of all the alcohol he’d drank.

****

Skwisgaar woke up in jail cell, or at least that was his first thought upon seeing his surroundings.  
His shirt and boots were gone. Sitting up and trying to think, he realized he might be in a lot more trouble than he’d thought. It might have been an actual jail at one point, but the amount of filth suggested a less noble purpose now. There were five other guys in this cell with him, all of them covered in cuts and bruises, and all of them shirtless and barefoot like he was. The one in the corner looked like he might be dying.

There were no windows, and one wall was all bars. The other three were plain stone, and one was lined with bunks.  
The floor was stone, filthy and stained, and dirt had drifted into the corners, rounding them.  
A toilet with no seat, something that looked like a drinking fountain...  
The only light in the room came from a bright bulb enclosed in a heavy wire cage on the ceiling, but he could tell there were other lights in the hallway or whatever.

One of the men noticed he was awake and came over, squatting down and seeming to study him. “This un’s scrawny, guess we’re gonna git another new roommate soon. He ain’t gonna be no help to us, maybe we should hurry it along.”   
The guy was huge, around Nathan’s size. Skwisgaar closed his eyes, knowing he didn’t stand a chance.  
“Oh leaves him alones.”

Skwisgaar dared to look. It was one of the other guys, tall but not nearly as built as the one looming over him. His hands were wrapped with strips of cloth, but blood spots had soaked through across his knuckles. He, like all others he could see, was bearded. Shaving probably wasn’t allowed here, and the beards most likely concealed a lot more damage from blows.  
The two men stood over him, arguing his fate.

“Lookit ‘im, he won’t last a day!”  
“Yeah, looks at him, he’s real pretties. You knows what they brings him for.”  
The guy turned, seeming to study him further. “Oh. I think you’re right ‘bout that one, Wartooth.” With a shrug, he wandered back over to what seemed to be his place at the bars.  
The other one squatted down beside Skwisgaar. “What’s you’s name?”

Skwisgaar had noticed the accent of course, a fellow Scandinavian. “Skwisgaar Skwigelf. I ams a guitarist.”  
“Oh realies? I used to plays!”  
Sure, _everybody_ played. Whatever. He had more important things to worry about. “What dids you mean, what dey ams brings me for?”  
“Maybe it’s better if you don’ts know?”  
Suddenly, all the lights went out. Sounds of shuffling were all around.  
The guy grabbed his arm, pulling. “Comes on, I lets you share my bed. We can still talks if we’s quiet.”

Having absolutely no idea what the fuck was going on, Skwisgaar let the guy lead him to on to the bunks attached to the wall. Earlier he’d counted only four, so it was good to know that his new friend (if he _was_ a friend) rated one.  
Skwisgaar let himself be pushed against the wall, and felt the other guy climb on.  
Turning toward him, the guy whispered, “We gots to keeps it down, okays? And by the ways, mine name’s Toki.”

“Why ams I here?”  
“Skwisgaar, cans you fights?”  
“Nots really? Why, ams dat what dey does here?”  
“People makes bets, then we gots to fight who they tells us to. And sometimes we gots to... um, does other things.”  
“Udder tings?”

The only answer was silence, so he changed the subject. “Toki, how long had you beens here?”  
“I’s not real sures, I think maybes a months or so? It’s hard to keeps track of time.”  
“How does you know when a fights ams over?”  
“When they says it is. I don’t really knows, I think it has to does with the bettings? Sometimes they stops it when you knocks the other guys down, sometimes not for a long times.”  
“Has you kills anysbody?”   
“I don’t knows, probablies.”

The lay quietly for a while, Skwisgaar still thinking. “Ams dey goings to makes us fight?”  
“Noes, you only fights people from other cells. Goes to sleep now?”  
Skwisgaar couldn’t sleep, but he could stop talking. He wondered where he was, and if he would be rescued. Surely they’d miss him soon, he never stayed away longer than overnight. He listened to Toki’s breathing change as he fell asleep.  
Eventually, he slept too.

****

They were fed in the morning, sandwiches. Crappy ones with just a thin slice of cheap lunch meat between slices of bread. Skwisgaar ate them anyway, he had no idea when he’d get more. They all ate except the guy in the corner, who was still alive but barely.  
There was little talking throughout the building.  
Large, heavily armed men patrolled the aisles, peering into the cell and occasionally making notes on the clipboards they carried.  
Skwisgaar thought one of them had looked right at him, but he couldn’t be sure.

The day passed slowly. One of the other guys in their cell was taken out, only to be returned later with more cuts and bruises. Nobody acted like this was unusual, so Skwisgaar tried to ignore it as well.  
Later, they took Toki.  
The guy in the corner had started moaning, a truly hopeless sound. It went on for hours.  
Why hadn’t they brought Toki back yet? 

It was near lights out time when Toki was finally shoved back in the cell, staggering as he was released. He went straight to his bunk and crawled onto it.  
Skwisgaar went to check on him, he looked like somebody had tried to kill him. Maybe they had? “Toki? Ams you okay?”  
“I’s been better. Gots to rest.”  
The lights went out, and Skwisgaar carefully eased onto the bed, hoping the previous night’s permission was still granted. There was no reaction at all from Toki.

****

The next morning, the damage was obvious. Along with fresh cuts, one of Toki’s hands was swollen now. Skwisgaar curled his own hands protectively in reaction.  
Guards came in, it seemed that the guy in the corner had died in the night. They dragged him out. Nobody even watched him go.  
The big guy wandered past, peering at Toki’s hand. “Wartooth, you finished?”  
“Noes, I can still fights! I _has_ to.” He tucked his injured hand between his legs, out of sight.

Later, Skwisgaar couldn’t stand the suspense anymore. Toki was lying on his bunk, he went and sat beside him. “Toki? Tells me what dey ams going to does to me.”  
“Has you ever fucks a guy?”  
“No? What’s dat has to does wit anyting?”  
“You don’ts wants to know.”  
“Ja I does, tells me!”

Toki hesitated a long time, but finally answered. “You’s real pretties. The pretty ones, they puts them in the ring and makes them fucks. Whoever fucks the other one wins.”  
“Holy shits. Ams dere more?”  
“Yeah. If you loses three times, they kills you. So you better hopes you’s good.”  
“Whats abouts you? Does dey kills you if you doesn’t win fights?”  
“I wins them. And I don’ts want to talks abouts it no more.”

“Well how abouts someting else? Tells me how you gets here.”  
Toki sighed. “I can’ts pay my rent so I sells my guitar, but I don’t gets enough money so I just decided to leaves. I gets a boat to hires me, we ends up overs here. They tells me I has to always stay on the boat, but one night while we’s docked I sneaks off. And I gots no papers, so I has to get aways from there fast. And I gots almost no money either, so I tries to get rides.”

“An den what happens?”  
And then I gets in the car with the wrong person, wokes up here. Tells me about you’s band, I’d rather hears that.”  
“Okay... We ams Dethklok and we jus gets signed the day they takes me here. We was independents but dere was too much crap to be worrying abouts so we finally gives in and gets a label. I ams de the lead guitarist, and I’s probablies de fastest in the whole world. Oh we plays death metal, we’re reallies good too. Maybe you has heard us?”

Toki thought about it. “Maybes? I don’ts know the name, but a lots of the stuff on the radios, they never says who it is.”  
“Well, we amn’ts very big in udder countries yet anyways, but we ams goings to be.”  
“Will they looks for you? It sounds like you’s a really importants guy.”  
“I hopes so.” He had no idea how they might possibly find him though, and a place like this was probably one of the _last_ places they’d even think to look.

No more was said until lights out, Toki didn’t seem to want to be bothered and the other guys weren’t friendly at all, they were actually kind of scary. Toki had gone back to his bunk earlier, ignoring everyone.  
Skwisgaar crawled in with hm, just happy he didn’t have to sleep on the stone floor. Toki was still facing the wall, and didn’t acknowledge Skwisgaar’s presence one way or the other.

“Toki?” Skwisgaar poked him on the shoulder, wanting to talk. “Ams your hand goings to be okays?”  
“Noes, I’s pretty sure it’s brokes.” He still didn’t turn, just curled himself up tighter. “I don’ts wants to die, I _really_ don’ts wants to die...”  
Not knowing what else to do, Skwisgaar patted him on the shoulder. It didn’t seem to do much good, if any at all.

A while later, he felt Toki turn over.  
“Skwisgaar? You’s still awake?”  
“Ja, what ams it?”  
“They’s going to takes you soon, for the fuck fights. If you lose, you gots to tries to relax or you can get hurts bad, even with the oil they puts on you. Okays? But tries not to lose.”  
“Um, okays? I will tries.” Skwisgaar found this advice rather unsettling, but Toki was through talking. It took a long time to fall asleep.

****

The next day, Skwisgaar was made to take some pills. He was pretty sure he knew what at least one of them was, and what was coming.  
When they came back an hour later, the chemicals were doing their job on his dick and whatever else they’d given him had his head a bit fuzzy. He couldn’t even protest and they grabbed him and led him away.  
He tried t count the other cells as they passed them, but couldn’t keep his thoughts together.  
Some men reached through the bars, trying to touch him, shouting crude things.

They came to an open area with two large cages, and stands that were mostly full of people. The floor of one of the cages was heavily bloodstained, but he was led to the other.   
“Take your pants off!” A large scary guy holding a bucket scowled at him.  
Knowing it was pointless to resist, Skwisgaar obeyed. The guy then painted him with a paint roller, coating him in some sort of oil. It smelled funny.  
Then they shoved him into the cage.

The lights were very bright, blinding almost. It was impossible to see past them, to see anything at all that was more than a couple feet from the sides of the cage.  
He could hear them though, he knew they were still there.   
He couldn’t even see his opponent yet.  
The oily residue on the floor made it a little slippery, that wouldn’t help him.

Then another man was shoved in from the other side, he was shorter than Skwisgaar but stockier. Neither of them moved.  
A sudden sharp pain made Skwisgaar jump forward, he turned to see a man holding some sort of cattle prod. Others with similar items lined the sides, forcing them into the middle of the cage and together.  
Despite a chemically induced hard-on, he didn’t want to fuck this man. Looking into his opponent’s eyes, all Skwisgaar saw was dull determination. There was no choice.

A whistle blew and the man punched him in the stomach, taking him by surprise and bending him over with pain. He was then grabbed from behind, arms wrapping around his waist.  
Skwisgaar struggled, the oil making him slippery enough to turn and push free, but then the man grabbed his wrist and hand with both of his and somehow managed to twist his arm up behind him. It hurt, but _his hand_ , he needed his hands undamaged! He couldn’t fight it, couldn’t take the risk. Skwisgaar let himself be forced to his knees. He knew what was coming... Toki had said to try to relax, but he couldn’t!

The man kept pressing, pushing Skwisgaar forward and down, pushing until his face touched the oily floor. He could feel the man’s erection sliding against him, humping him. He was clearly having trouble getting it in with all the oil and without a free hand to aim with, but it was only a matter of time.  
Pinned as he was, Skwisgaar was helpless to stop him.  
Toki said to relax...

The man leaned over him, trying a different angle. He found his place and shoved hard. The audience cheered.  
The suddenness and the pain caused Skwisgaar to jerk forward, but the resulting pain in his arm and hand stopped him short. There was nothing he could do. He could take it, gay guys did this stuff all the time. But it fucking _hurt_!  
As hard as it was, he tried to relax, tried to forget the watching eyes and the cattle prods.  
He wasn’t all that successful, but it seemed to help a little.

And then, with a few more thrusts, the man was finished. He’d barely released Skwisgaar’s arm when he was grabbed by the guards and dragged away.  
Skwisgaar let himself collapse forward. If they wanted him to move, they’d have to move him. He watched through his hair as a man with a glove walked over to him. The man squatted beside him, then he felt a finger shoved in his ass, feeling roughly around. The finger withdrew, and apparently passing inspection, Skwisgaar was dragged to his feet and made to walk.

They took him to a room and hosed him down, dumped some sort of cleaner on him and hosed him again. It seemed to get most of the oil off.  
Then, still naked, he was taken back to his cell and tossed inside. His pants were thrown in after him.  
Wincing from the pain in his ass, Skwisgaar struggled to work his pants up his wet legs. It took a lot longer that he would have liked, but nobody was paying any attention to him. Not even Toki, who was facing the wall again.  
Finally, he was dressed again, or at least as dressed as any of them.

He tried to talk to Toki that night, but Toki wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t even roll over and face him.  
Skwisgaar was wondering how he’d die. He wasn’t cut out for this game, he’d proved that earlier. And Toki has said that if he lost three times he’d be killed, but he’d never said how.  
He missed the other guys, and wondered if the band could possibly make it without him.   
With great difficulty, Skwisgaar managed to shut his brain down and sleep.

****

The next day, three of the others from his cage were taken and returned, including the big guy whose name he’d learned was Jackson. He had no idea who the others were, they never spoke to each other or to him. One of the unnamed ones came back in very bad shape, but it seemed that there was nothing to be done about it.  
Toki was still being quiet, so Skwisgaar had no one to talk to. He passed the time sitting against the wall and trying not to think.

On the following day, they took Toki again. Skwisgaar tried to give him an encouraging look, but Toki didn’t even glance in his direction, just shuffled along with the guards.  
Skwisgaar waited, growing more concerned as the time passed. He should have been brought back by now!  
There was no one he could even ask, except maybe... did he dare talk to the big guy? Jackson was at least on speaking terms with Toki, that was better than any of the others.

Jackson looked up as he approached. “Whatta you want?”  
“Where ams Toki?” There, he'd said it.  
“Wartooth ain’t coming back, he lost. If they can’t win money with him, they ain’t gonna fight him no more. What’s it to you anyhow?”  
“He ams mine friend.”  
“He ain’t your friend, boy, you got no friends in here. Makes it easier when they put you in the cage, not givin’ a shit, I mean.”

The guy hadn’t clobbered him or anything yet, so Skwisgaar pressed his luck. “Well, what’s dey does wit him now?”  
“You want me to tell you a little story? You really wanna know how things work around here?”  
“Ja, please tells me.”   
“Alright. Go lay in your bed with your head pointing this way. Yeah, it’s your bed now. I’ll lay in mine the opposite way and then we can talk without lookin’ like we’re talking. Got it?”

Skwisgaar nodded and went straight to his bed, Jackson did the same.  
“Alright, this is how it works. They only put one fuck boy in each cell. The idea is that all the other guys can use him, but most of us don’t. There’s one cell where they keep the real mean ones, the meanest ones. That’s where you go when you lose too many times, then they fuck you to death.”  
So _that’s_ how he was going to die, it was even worse than anything he’d imagined. But what did any of this have to do with Toki?

Jackson continued, “Wartooth is sort of lucky there, he’s not bad looking. Or at least he wasn’t when he first got here, kinda hard to tell now. Anyway, ugly ones like me, we don’t get another chance when we start losing, they just put us in death matches. But him, they’d planned to make him a fuck boy originally when he first got here. We had another guy back then, one who liked the fuck boys. But Wartooth beat the shit out of him when he tried, and that was when they decided to use him for a fighter instead. He’s not real big, but he holds his own pretty well. Or at least he did until he got hurt, I was pretty sure he couldn’t fight good enough with that hand.”

“So why ams he not comings back?”  
“Because now they’re gonna use him for a fuck boy like they originally planned. And only one fuck boy per cell, remember? You’re here so he’s not. Understand?”  
“I guesses so? But dis ams dildos!”  
“Whatever. All you can do is watch your own back around here.” Jackson got up and moved to the bars, conversation over.

****

There was some sort of grapevine that news passed along, but Skwisgaar never seemed to hear anything himself. He couldn’t figure out how the others never seemed surprised by which ones got picked that day. He knew they’d probably take him again soon though, it was only a matter of time.   
A new guy had been added to their cage, but he just stayed in the corner. He even slept in that corner, pretty much only coming out only to grab food at mealtimes.  
Skwisgaar didn’t try to talk to him, or to any of them.

It was the next day that they pulled him out again. Since he’d gotten pills earlier, he been expecting it. Knowing what was going to happen didn’t make it any easier though. As they pulled him through the aisles, Skwisgaar tried to spot Toki in the other cells. His long hair was somewhat unusual here so he should have been easy to see, but he wasn’t.  
Once there, Skwisgaar was stripped, oiled, and thrown in the cage. He moved to the center before anyone could jab him with a prod, but his new opponent wasn’t as fast and got zapped on the ass.

Lose two more times and get thrown to the men who would fuck him to death... He couldn’t afford to lose again. But how many times had this stranger lost? Was he condemning him to death if he managed to win? He understood very well now what Jackson had told him, about how having no friends made it a little easier.  
The whistle blew, and Skwisgaar attempted to use his long arms and legs to his advantage, trying to grasp the slippery man and push him down. The man threw a few punches that unfortunately connected, but Skwisgaar was to afraid for his hands to punch back.

They wrestled back and forth, unwanted erections rubbing between their bodies. Finally Skwisgaar managed to hook his ankle just right, pulling the other man off balance and shoving him down. On the floor he still fought back, managing to roll them over so he was sitting on top. Skwisgaar put a hand on his face shoving his head back and trying to push him off.  
Then with a quick twist of his head, the man managed to grab a couple fingers in his teeth. He bit down.  
Skwisgaar froze, realizing that things had just taken a very bad turn. The pressure was painful, but the guy wasn’t putting full force into the bite, not yet anyway.

The man seemed to realize he’d won. Keeping the hold with his teeth, he shifted between Skwisgaar’s legs, pulling his now unresisting knees up and apart.  
Skwisgaar could see blood on his hand from where those teeth had broken the skin. He cooperated, hoping to spare his poor fingers any more damage, relaxing the best he was able as the man shoved inside of him.  
It still hurt a lot, but he did his best to ignore it. The man fucked him roughly, eyes closed and teeth (fortunately) not biting harder. Skwisgaar wondered how much more it would hurt to be fucked to death.

Suddenly his fingers were released, but there was no point trying to fight back now. The skin had broken on the backs of two fingers, they were still bleeding freely. He cradled his wounded hand to his chest and closed his eyes, waiting for it to be over.  
One more match and it would probably be over for him forever. Weren’t they searching for him? Why hadn’t they somehow found him yet?  
The man finished, and after another gloved finger check, he was again hosed down and tossed back in his cell.

****

The next guy they took didn’t come back, but he hadn’t been looking so good lately. He was probably dead. That left an empty bed because the guy in the corner made no move to take it.  
Skwisgaar really wanted to know what had happened to Toki, but the grapevine was still silent for him. And he wasn’t going to ask Jackson again. But it hadn’t been that long since he’d been moved, they probably hadn’t used him more than once yet. And being Toki, he’d probably won. Even injured he was likely more than a match for people like himself. So he was probably still okay.

Jackson and the corner guy were fought and returned, somewhat worse for the wear.   
The waiting was torture. Skwisgaar had given up on being rescued, if it hadn’t happened by now it probably wouldn’t happen at all. He almost wished they’d just get it over with and take him again. It was hopeless anyway.  
Anyway, what if they _did_ try to rescue him and got taken prisoner too? Nathan would probably do very well here, and maybe Murderface, but Pickles and Magnus would likely meet his same fate. Pickles was tough, but way too small to be used for fighting.

The next day, he got pills again. This was it, it was over. There wasn’t even anybody to say goodbye to, that was depressing. And only two days rest? That seemed to soon, he was still sore from the last time. They were probably tired of him, probably would throw him straight in the other cell afterwards and leave him to die on his own time.  
He didn’t have any hope, the grapevine had surely spread that his hands were his weakness. Everyone would know how to defeat him by now.

When they came for him, he went quietly. He understood now why Toki had walked out like he had, he’d known he wasn’t coming back. He walked with his head down, not even trying to spot his friend this time. There was no point, it was too late.  
He took his pants off, probably for the last time.  
The oil painting guy slopped oil in him, not seeming to care if he got even coverage or not.  
They shoved him in the ring where he stood with his head down.

Skwisgaar glanced up at the clang of the door to see the other guy pushed in.  
Toki! He couldn’t believe it!  
Toki looked up too, and their eyes met. He froze where he stood, his expression unreadable. They prodded him from two sides and he jumped to the center with a snarl over his shoulder that brought only laughter.  
The whistle blew.

The just stood there for a minute looking each other over.  
Toki actually looked a little better than he had before, his injuries had healed some. He was still a mess overall though, and Skwisgaar cringed at the thought of grappling with that battered body. He didn’t want to cause pain.  
The were taking too long, shouts and jeers surrounded them. Toki turned briefly to flip off the unseen audience with his good hand, then stepped forward and grabbed Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar noticed he wasn’t putting any pressure on his injured hand, that arm was grasping with the forearm only. Still, he was really strong.  
The wrestled, oiled skin slipping against each other. Skwisgaar hated himself, wanting to stop but knowing it wouldn’t be allowed. He was pretty sure Toki was holding back too, he should have been able to take him down by now.

Pulling him closer, Toki whispered in his ear, “Skwisgaar, hits me.” Their long hair hid his words.  
He shook his head.  
“Does it! I’s going to lets you win, I knows you has losses alreadies. You lives longer, you might still gets saves.  
“Toki, has you ever lost? At dis?”  
“Noes.”  
“If they come for me, I’m getting you out too.”  
“Don’ts make promises you can’ts keep. Now fucksing hits me alreadies!” He pulled back a bit.

Reluctantly, Skwisgaar threw the punch. He didn’t hit hard, he couldn’t bear to, but Toki played it up and made it look a lot harder than it was. Then Toki closed in again, this time taking them both to the floor.  
He rolled, his head close to Skwisgaar’s ear again. “Now grabs my hand!”  
Cringing, Skwisgaar obeyed, wrapping his long fingers around Toki’s swollen hand. He didn’t squeeze at all, but could tell it hurt anyway. The heat from the injury was intense. 

Toki twisted as if he was trying to escape, ending up on his knees with his grasped hand behind him.  
Skwisgaar knew what came next, and knew he had to make a good show of it. Toki was waiting, head down and still. To make things more convincing, Skwisgaar carefully pulled the hand up, twisting it in a near imitation of how he’d been held the first time. He shifted, getting into position. He really didn’t want to do this, but there was no choice.

Using his free hand to aim, Skwisgaar slowly pushed himself in. He could feel Toki fighting to relax, and knew it was hurting anyway. All he could do was try to be as gentle as the circumstanced allowed.  
It was just too much, kneeling there in the floodlights with what was his only friend left in the world impaled on his dick while strangers cheered and yelled. Skwisgaar closed his eyes and fucked Toki as carefully as he could. He concentrated, wanting to come as quickly as he possibly could, needing to end this.  
In a short time that felt like an eternity, he managed.

They pulled him away when he withdrew, and he saw the gloved man approaching Toki as he was led out of sight.  
Winning got you no special privileges, he discovered, the treatment was the same as before. When they dumped him back in his cell, he fought his pants back on and crawled straight into his bed. Were they looking at him this time? He felt they were. He knew nobody had expected him to come back.  
Curling on his side facing the wall, Skwisgaar tried to shut everything out. Nothing had changed, he’d only been granted a few more days at best.

****

Skwisgaar was doing his own version of the corner guy, leaving his bed only to eat and take care of other necessities, spending the rest of his time either staring at the wall or sleeping. Some of his cellmates went out and came back, he didn’t even look to see who.  
Sometimes he studied the scabs on his fingers, but they were a reminder of everything he wanted to forget.  
When the commotion started a couple days later, he stayed still where he was. Nothing mattered anymore anyway. Nothing at all.

It was the cries of “POLICE!” that finally broke through his trance-like state.  
In the confused manner of a man who has slept too long, Skwisgaar slowly turned to look. Police in riot gear were swarming the aisles, people were running every which way. There was a lot of fighting, and at least a couple of them had shot off mace, judging by the feeling in his nose and throat.  
Was this a rescue, a coincidence? What would happen to him now?

And then there at the bars of his cell was a familiar face in a familiar suit. He had to yell to be heard over the general clamor. “Skwisgaar, hold on and we’ll have you out shortly! We’re trying to find the keys now!” Then Ofdensen was gone, melting back into the melee.  
Skwisgaar briefly wondered if he’d just hallucinated seeing him at all, but decided he was probably real.   
He sat and waited, listening to the fighting but not really seeing it or hearing it.

Eventually things quieted down, and Ofdensen returned with a ring of keys. They weren’t labeled, so it took him a while to find the right one.  
Skwisgaar still sat on his bed, not really believing any of this was happening.  
Once he finally got the door open, Ofdensen had to had to take him by the arm and lead him out. “It’s okay, Skwisgaar, you’re safe now. We’re getting you out of here.”   
Skwisgaar let himself be led, the fog in his mind slowly clearing. Suddenly he stopped

Ofdensen tugged his arm impatiently, but he refused to move. Toki, he couldn’t leave without Toki! He turned back.  
“Skwisgaar! We need to go, come on!”  
“I gots to finds Toki, he saves mine life, and I promises him I would gets him out!”  
“Who is Toki? Alright, fine, whatever you want. Where is he?”  
“I has no idea.”

They went back, and there was lots of yelling. Skwisgaar’s was the only cell that had been opened and the other captives were throwing a fit. How would he ever find Toki in all this?  
Ofdensen was scowling impatiently.  
Skwisgaar saw Jackson ahead and caught up to him. “Heys, I has to finds Toki. Does you know wheres he is?”  
“Try down that way.” He pointed to a corridor.  
Skwisgaar hurried in that direction with Ofdensen trailing behind.

He looked in every cell as they passed, but no Toki.  
Finally, almost to the end, he spotted him. He wasn’t at the bars like the others, but back on a bunk out of the way. “Toki! We ams gettings you out!”  
Charles was trying keys, trying not to let the cell’s inhabitants grab him like they were attempting to do. The ones in Skwisgaar’s cell had been quiet, these seemed likely to fight as soon as they were freed. But that couldn’t be helped.

As soon as the door was unlocked it was slammed open, and the four guys rushed them. Skwisgaar was slammed back against another cell, whose occupants then grabbed and held him. Then Toki was there, fighting one handed and punching them through the bars, making them let go.  
Ofdensen was fighting the others, he was doing pretty well considering that he was outnumbered.  
Then Jackson jumped in, and they backed off. He was one of the biggest guys in the whole place and had quite a reputation.

Ofdensen wanted to get the hell out of there before all the inevitable investigations started. “You found your friend, now let’s go!”  
Skwisgaar pointed at Jackson. “We gots to takes dat one too.”   
“Fine, whatever.” The four of them hurried for the exit, leaving all the rest to whatever fate awaited them.  
After so long in the prison, the late afternoon sun was very bright.   
One of their helicopters waited.

Once onboard, they lifted off immediately.   
Ofdensen studied them. Skwisgaar didn’t look too bad, just some minor injuries that he could see. A shower and a shave would probably be all he needed, physically at least. His mental state was still in question, but they’d deal with that later.  
The other two were in terrible shape, heavily bearded and covered in cuts and bruises. He wasn’t sure what to do with them, perhaps they might make good Klokateers?  
But that too could wait.

The flight passed in silence, and when they finally landed Ofdensen insisted they go straight to the medical wing.  
Skwisgaar was checked first and told he could go, but he refused to leave Toki. At his instance, Toki was examined next. The doctor used clippers to trim away the beard, revealing more healing cuts along his jaw line but nothing that wouldn’t heal completely with time. His swollen hand was x-rayed and was indeed broken, surgery was recommended. Knowing Skwisgaar would insist, Ofdensen told them to schedule it.

Jackson was clipped , checked over, and pronounced to be remarkably healthy. Ofdensen decided to deal with this one now, Skwisgaar didn’t seem to have the same attachment to him. “Do you have somewhere we can take you? Or perhaps you would like to work for us, as security?”  
“Well to be perfectly honest, I ain’t really got nowhere to go. So I’ll take the job, I’ve done some security stuff before.”  
“Very well. There will be a background check of course, but let’s get you a room for now. You’ll have a week off to heal before you officially start.”

Now what to do with Toki... “Skwisgaar, I suppose Toki can stay in a guest room tonight, he’ll need to check in down here in the morning for his surgery.   
“No, he stays wit me.”  
“Do what you want. And Toki? Don’t eat or drink anything tonight so you’ll be ready in the morning.”  
“Okays.” It was the first word he’d spoken in Ofdensen’s presence.  
After conferring with the doctor once again, Ofdensen and Jackson left.

Skwisgaar wasn’t ready to face his bandmates yet, not after all he’d been through. He beckoned for Toki to follow and headed the back way up to his room. Luck was with him, they encountered no one.  
Toki was still quiet, seemingly overwhelmed by the recent developments. He stood just inside the door, afraid to touch anything.  
Skwisgaar just wanted a shower, he hadn’t had anything but a couple hosings since he’d been taken. Toki needed one too.

What the hell, his shower was big enough for two and it wasn’t like they hadn’t already seen each other naked and more anyway. “Comes on, we takes a showers.”  
They went into the bathroom and Skwisgaar turned on the water. Then he peeled off his filthy pants and tossed then aside, they weren’t anything close to white anymore. He never wanted to see them again. Toki stripped as well, and they got in the shower together.  
Skwisgaar wished he could just wash everything down the drain with the dirt. He had a shaving mirror in there so he shaved, happy to be able to recognize his reflection again.

He washed his hair, then passed the shampoo to Toki. As Skwisgaar rinsed, he noticed Toki having difficulty washing his one handed. “Here, lets me help.”  
Toki turned, leaning into the touch with a happy little sound as long fingers massaged his scalp. He really couldn’t use his broken hand hardly at all. Once he’d rinsed his hair, Skwisgaar had him hold it up and washed his back for him too. 

The conditioner was next, to loosen the knots and tangles. Skwisgaar did his own first, picking through it with his fingers, then did Toki’s for him. Despite being straighter, it had been longer without a brush or comb and was in pretty bad shape. Toki just stood quietly and let him work, and finally his fingers passed through it freely.   
When they were all rinsed, they got out and dried off.

Skwisgaar wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and sleep forever. Still naked, he climbed in, sinking into familiar comfort. “You shares you’s bed wit me, I shares mine wit you.”  
Toki dropped his towel and joined him. He couldn’t help smiling as he snuggled down in the white fur. But he had to ask, “Skwisgaar? What’s going to happens to me?”  
“I keeps you.”  
“Whys?”  
“Because you ams mine friend, and you’s the only person who ams ever goings to understands what happens to me in dat place.”

“Okays. Skwisgaar? If they can fixes my hand, can I plays you’s guitar sometimes?”  
“I guesses so. Or maybe we jus gets you one? You never says, was you any goods?”  
“Yeah, I could plays pretty much everythings I hears on the radio.”  
Too bad they didn’t need a guitarist. Too bad he was too worn out to really continue a conversation. “Goodnights, Toki.”  
“Okays, goodnights to you too.”  
And they slept.

****

The next morning when Skwisgaar woke up, he didn’t want to open his eyes. What if being rescued had all been a dream? What if he was still in his cell?  
But what if it was real? He cautiously opened his eyes.  
He was home. It was very early, through his window he could see the sun only just beginning to rise.  
Rolling over, he encountered a familiar battered face. Toki was awake too.

There was a soft knock at the door, and then Ofdensen poked his head in. “Skwisgaar? Good, you’re awake. I’d like to have a short meeting with you and your new friends in my office, could you meet me there in a few minutes?”  
“Um, ja? Okays.” He didn’t really want to talk about things, but knew he was going to have to sooner or later. With a sigh, he got up and went to his closet.

Didn’t he have anything that wasn’t _white_? He couldn’t stand the idea of putting on his usual white pants, he never wanted to wear them again. Digging in the back through the old stuff he never wore but hadn’t gotten rid of, Skwisgaar found some plain old blue jeans. He’d never liked blue much, but at least they weren’t white. He pulled out two pairs, hoping that Toki could wear his size. On a lower shelf were his old band t-shirts, mostly black ones. They would do. His belt and boots had been lost, but he didn’t want them anymore anyway.

Skwisgaar pulled on a t-shirt and jeans, not even bothering to tuck the shirt in. Without a belt, there just didn’t seem to be much point to it. He tossed another set to Toki, who got up and put them on. The pants were a little long, but otherwise everything fit well enough.   
Both barefoot, they went out in the halls and Skwisgaar led the way to the manager’s office. Toki was trying to look everywhere at once, clearly in awe of his surroundings.

“You likes de haus?”  
“It’s like a castle or somethings! How does you have all this when you just gets signed?”  
“Pfft, it _ams_ a castle. And we’d done a couple albums wit no label, we just gots tired of all the handlings tings. It ams better to be lettings somebody else does all dat stuff and we jus does music.”  
The came to the manager’s office.

Jackson was already there, dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt that somebody had loaned him. They sat and waited for Ofdensen to begin, having no idea what to expect.  
Ofdensen gave a confused look to Skwisgaar’s unusual choice in clothing, but didn’t comment on it. “Well guys, I’ve managed to erase all three of you from the records of having been in that place. Officially you were never there. But I still need to know what happened. Skwisgaar?”  
Why did he have to go first? “Dis lady in the bar gives me some pill, tells me it ams a mints. Ands den I wakes up in a cage.” With Jackson looming over him and making threats, he’d sort of forgotten that part. “Jackson, why dids you threatens me?”

Often turned a hard gaze on him, waiting for an answer.  
“I’m sorry I said that stuff, I wouldn’t have done nothing. It was easier to make everybody hate me when they first got there, so they wouldn’t try to be my friend. I’m a big guy, some people thought I’s protect them and... well, you know how it was in there.”  
“Ja, makes sense.” The no friends rule, of course.  
Seeming to find that answer satisfactory, Ofdensen nodded. “Well Jackson here has agreed to become a Klokateer, so he’ll be around. Skwisgaar, please continue.”

He didn’t want to, but with the exception if the manager they already knew it all. “Toki ams nice and talks to me, but he tells me dat dey ams going to makes me... fucks guys. And if I loses, I’s goings to be kills.” He took a shaky breath. “I don’t wants to talks about it, why does I has to?”  
Ofdensen showed mercy. “Fine, but I want the doctor to check you to make sure there’s no internal damage.”  
Skwisgaar nodded. He _thought_ he was okay, but what if he wasn’t? Knowing would give him one less thing to worry about. “Toki too?”  
“Oh? Ah, very well. He needs to get down there soon anyway to be prepped for surgery, I’ll call and tell them to check him.”

The silence was uncomfortable.  
Jackson volunteered, “I’d be happy to tell you as much as I know, and believe me, I heard a lot in that place.”   
“I would appreciate that. Now Toki, would you be interested in becoming a Klokateer as well?  
“No he amn’ts going to does dat!”  
Whatever, he’d deal with it later then. “Alright, I’ll assign him a room and he can remain as your guest.”

“And I needs new clothes.”  
“You have lots of perfectly good clothes.”  
“No, I don’t wants those no more! I needs new ones, anytings but whites.”  
Ofdensen nodded. “Fine, that will be arranged. Skwisgaar, it’s time, will you show your friend down to the medical wing? And whenever you want to talk, I’ll be here for you.”  
“Pfft.” Glad to be released, Skwisgaar headed for the door, Toki following behind him. He led them to a servant’s staircase, still not ready to face his bandmates if they were even awake yet. The climbed down without seeing anyone at all.

The staff was expecting them, the wasted no time getting Toki into a hospital gown and bed. They started an IV and gave him some pre-op medications. Skwisgaar sat by the bed.  
“Skwisgaar?” The drugs were starting to affect him. “Why’s you does all this for me?”  
“You saves mine life!”  
“And you saves mine back, I think we’s even.”  
It was time to move Toki to the OR, so Skwisgaar was shooed out.

Refusing to leave, he sat in what passed for their waiting room.  
An orderly of some sort approached him. “We got a call that you need to be examined? Follow me, please.”  
Dreading it but knowing it needed to be done, Skwisgaar followed him to a small exam room. He was handed one of the gowns. “You can leave your shirt on if you want, but nothing else.” The guy closed the door on his way out.  
Skwisgaar took off his pants, fighting the memories that wanted to surface, and sat down to wait.

A woman came in, they’d sent a woman doctor? That might be easier.  
“Hello, Skwisgaar. Tell me, have you had any pain or fever?”  
Did the pain during and afterwards count? Or did she mean right now? He decided to go with now. “No.”  
“Well you’re probably fine, but let’s take a quick look to make sure. Could you stand and lean over the table for me?” She grabbed a glove.

Oh shit, a glove! This was too much like the gloved man who’d checked him after his losses. But he had to get through this...  
Skwisgaar slowly turned, leaning on the table and closing his eyes tightly.  
“This will be a bit cold, try to relax for me.”  
He did his best, and flinched as the cold lube touched him and the finger pressed inside. It twisted, feeling all around, then withdrew.  
“Well everything seems fine! You can get dressed now, we’re all done.” She left.

Skwisgaar dressed, then went back out to the waiting room. There were assorted magazines, but sometimes reading English was just too much of a chore to bother with so he ignored them.  
He was going to have to face the other guys soon, but he didn’t know what to tell them. Not the truth, never that, but what? He should ask Toki, maybe he’d have an idea.  
The wait seemed to last forever.

Finally, the doctor from last night came out. “Well we’re all done. He’s in a cast and he’s going to need physical therapy later on, but he should be just fine.” He checked his clipboard. “Oh, we did the requested internal exam, that was also fine. We’re monitoring him until he’s fully awake, and then he’s free to go.”  
“Can I sees him?”  
“Of course, follow me.” 

Toki was awake, but clearly still pretty drugged. His hand and forearm were in a black-wrapped cast.  
“Hey, I hear dey fixes you.”  
Toki lifted his arm a few inches, then let it drop back to the bed. “This thing’s pretty heavies, I bet I coulds break some heads with it.”  
“You’s not there anymores, you’s safe. You don’ts has to fights now.”  
“Oh.” He grinned up at Skwisgaar. “Hiiii....”  
“Pfft, you ams high alright.”

****

Later, with Toki redressed in Skwisgaar’s old clothes, they made their way back upstairs.  
Ofdensen met them in the hallway and led them to Toki’s new room, just down and across from Skwisgaar’s. That was good, they wouldn’t be far apart.  
The room was small and didn’t even have a window, but it was one of the few spare rooms with an attached bathroom. They’d found a small bed to put in there, but so far it lacked any other furnishings.  
“We’re not fully stocked on some items, so I’m going to send someone to the store to get you some sheets.”

“We ams needing to goes to the stores too, we needs clothes.”  
“Fine, I’ll send Jackson with you also, he needs a few things, and... #236 I think. Are you wanting to go now?”  
“Ja, now ams good.”  
“Alright. Find some shoes, you can’t go barefoot, and meet us in the garage.”  
“I don’t has any?” All he ever wore was his boots, which were gone.  
Ofdensen pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll provide something then. Meet me in the garage.”

The ‘something’ turned out to be Klokateer issue emergency flip-flops, but at least they were black. Skwisgaar put them on with distaste, but at least Toki seemed to find them amusing.  
Jackson was wearing boots that he’d borrowed form a gear with the day off.  
#236 turned out to be a woman, she was out of uniform for this mission. There was no need to advertise themselves, although the conditions of Toki and Jackson would draw more than enough attention.  
Ofdensen handed #236 a credit card, and off they went.

The store wasn’t far away, and fortunately not crowded.  
Skwisgaar picked black shirts in the same style as his old ones. Pants were harder. He’d never been fond of colors, and didn’t want to get black because then he’d look too much like one of their employees. Digging around, he found some grey ones on a rack that fortunately came in his size. He grabbed several pairs.  
Now for a belt, he just preferred to wear one. Maybe black? He sorted through the belts, they were hung randomly and all mixed together. They all sucked.

Toki wandered over, holding a stack of clothing piled on his cast. He peered curiously into the tangled mess of leather.  
Skwisgaar kept digging, pausing when a flash of silver caught his eye. A studded belt, he hadn’t considered that. He knew what was likely on the other end, some big old cowboy buckle, but he grabbed it anyway and started pulling off the ones in the way. Belts piled around his feet like cheap prop snakes.  
Finally, the belt in his hand was free.

It wasn’t a cowboy buckle at all, it was a fucking _skull_.  
Skwisgaar took it down and wrapped it around his waist, checking the size. It fit. He added the belt to his stack of selected clothing and headed off to find the shoe department, with Toki following.  
“Boys!” #236 stopped them, she had a cart. “Put your stuff in here, that’s what they make these things for.”  
They dumped their things, and Jackson added the stuff he’d just picked out. All together, they headed for shoes. 

They did indeed draw some attention as the roamed the aisles., other shoppers moving out of their path. It was almost funny.  
But in an ordinary setting and in fairly normal clothes, Skwisgaar had to admit that Toki and Jackson did indeed look shocking. His own bruises were few and mostly healed, and of course #236 was unmarked. He wondered what people made of their little group.  
He just wanted to get out of these stupid flip-flops, he really hated the way the rubber felt between his toes.

Skwisgaar got lucky, they had the kind of boots he liked in black. He put them on, intending to wear them out. Toki picked out similar ones.  
Jackson, who would be issued Klokateer boots, just picked some casual work boots.  
They were ready to leave, but #236 reminded them that Toki needed sheets too. And possibly socks and underwear, since there were none in the cart.  
Skwisgaar had plenty of socks and didn’t wear underwear, but Toki and Jackson veered off to acquire some. This is why the manager had sent a female Klokateer, women were just naturally better at shopping.

She herded them to the next department, where Toki picked out blue sheets. There weren’t a lot of colors to choose from in that size, and he didn’t care all that much anyway as long as they weren’t pink. At her urging, he grabbed a couple pillows too.  
At the checkout, Skwisgaar noticed that Toki had picked brown pants, it seemed that he didn’t like blue jeans either. And a couple packs of plain old t-shirts in a dark blue-grey, boring, but whatever.  
They threw everything in the car and headed home.

Upstairs, they went to their separate rooms. Skwisgaar quickly changed into his new clothes, then crossed to Toki’s room.  
He’d changed too, and was putting his extras away.  
The bed was still unmade, Skwisgaar sat on it. “Toki? I can’ts puts it off anymores, I has to face my band. What can I tells dem? I really don’ts wants dem to know about... you know whats.”  
Toki sat beside him, thinking. “You could tells them you was in your first fights when the cops came? And that’s why you’s not all beats up?”

That sounded like it could work. After all, the manager had said he’s erased any record of them being there so it could never be disproven. “Ja, okays. I’s put dis off longs enough, comes wit me?”  
Toki nodded, he was curious to meet the band. “Lets me finish puttings stuff up?”   
The bathroom had been stocked while they were gone, but something about it seemed to bother Toki. “What ams wrongs?”  
“I gots all this stuff to keep cleans with, but how’s I supposed to does it when I can’t gets my stupid arm wet?”  
Oh, that was the problem. “I’ll helps you, okays? Like last nights?” Problem solved.

****

The others were watching TV at this hour, they were fairly predictable. They looked up when Skwisgaar and Toki walked in.   
“Well look who’sch not dead!” Murderface took a better look at Toki. “Wow, you look like schit.”  
“Ha ha, you shoulds see the other guy.”  
“You guys, dis ams Toki. He mas goings to stays here for a whiles. Toki, dat ams Nathan, Pickle, Murderface, and Magnus.” He pointed to each as he named them.  
“Sit down and drink some fucking beer with us,” Nathan ordered.  
And so they did.

Nathan pointed with his bottle. “Are you going to keep dressing like that? Because that’s a lot better than all that stupid white.”  
“Ja, mine new look. Checks out de skull.” He pointed to his new belt.  
“Brutal.”  
Murderface was more interested in their injuries, particularly Toki’s since his were much worse. “Scho you hit schombody hard enough to break your _hand_?”  
Toki shrugged, “A littles too hards, I guess.”

“I gat it!” They looked at Pickles in confusion, and he continued, “Skwisgaar’s a ninja now! He’s wearin’ black an’ he’s naught all beat up!”  
“Uh... Sure, goes wit dat.”  
“Well, welcome back,” Was all Magnus had to offer.  
Very little else of significance was actually said, Skwisgaar was protected by the ‘no caring’ rule. For once, he was really glad for that. They sat, drank a few beers, and watched some random TV.

It had been a very long day and Skwisgaar was tired. Toki looked close to falling asleep on the couch too.  
“Sorry you guys, I ams goings to go to beds now.”  
Toki stood too. “Waits for me, I don’ts know how to find mine room yet!”   
Once they were away from the others, Toki turned to him. “Can you helps me makes my bed? And washes?”  
“Ja, sures.”

The went to Toki’s room, only to find that somebody had been by and already made the bed. Oh right, they had people for that. “You still wants help washings?”  
Toki considered. If he sat in the tub and kept his cast up on the side, he could wash one handed without too much trouble. “No, I guess I can does it, gots to learn sometime.” He really didn’t want to be any more dependant than he had to be.  
Skwisgaar shrugged. “Okays, I sees you tomorrow den.” He went back to his own room, took a quick shower, and crawled into bed.

****

_It was their first show since they’d gotten signed, first show since he’d been taken, his first time to be back on stage. They had made it.  
The band walked out to cheering, the stage lights were blinding.  
Skwisgaar froze. Suddenly he was back in that cage, the cheers had turned dark. The light was brighter somehow, he strained to see his opponent. He knew he couldn’t win, that this was the time that would finish him._

Skwisgaar sat up in bed, shaking and sweating.  
A dream, it had all been a dream. But it had been far too real.  
What if that really happened, what if he froze up on stage like that? Would his unknown final opponent always be waiting in the sidelines of his brain, tormenting him forever?  
He checked his clock, it was the middle of the night. But there was no way in hell that he could just go back to sleep, not after that.  
So he did the only thing he could think of.

Getting up, he pulled on some pants and crossed the hall, slipping into Toki’s room. By the faint light of the clock, he could see Toki curled up facing the wall in a familiar way.  
Skwisgaar eased himself into the small bed, it was bigger than the bunk they’d shared but not by much.  
“Skwisgaar?”  
“Ja. I has a really bad dream, can I stays?”  
“I don’ts mind.”  
And there they stayed for the rest of the night.

****

Determined to get past his problems, Skwisgaar turned to groupies. Due to the new rules, they were all checked and made to sign papers before being allowed in, so it was perfectly safe now.  
The first time was the hardest, the memories flooding back despite his efforts to lock them away. He pushed himself, he could do it, he _had_ to.  
Girls and then more girls, all types, all ages, trying to bury the memories.  
And still the dreams came back.

Some days he took groups to his room, seeming insatiable. It wasn’t even about the women, fucking himself into a state of total exhaustion was the only way he could really sleep.  
He was getting quite a reputation.  
It was no good, he couldn’t keep this pace for more that a couple days and then it was all for nothing again.  
The only other thing that worked was Toki.

****

Weeks passed, and they still slept together occasionally when one or the other had another nightmare, or showered together when Toki needed his hair washed.  
Toki’s face and body had healed, but he was still ‘shaving’ with the clippers due to his cast. Skwisgaar had offered to do it for him with an actual razor, but he’d declined.  
The other guys seemed to accept Toki hanging around, but he kept to himself a lot too. And Skwisgaar was realizing that Toki was actually far worse off than he was.

He’s been captive much longer, and had held no hope at all of being rescued. He’s been forced to fight and then to fuck, and left to try to manage with a broken hand.  
Now he had no place and no job, living with a band that wasn’t his own. He’d never even had the chance for his own.  
As much as they were holding each other together, they were also a constant reminder of what each had suffered.

Finally, it was time for the cast to come off.  
Skwisgaar had gone with him, and they cut it off with a saw thing. The doctor asked Toki if he wanted to keep it, but he didn’t.  
Flexing his hand fully for the first time in a long while, Toki scowled at his lagging fingers.  
The doctor watched. “We need to schedule you for physical therapy, what days are best for you?”  
“I don’ts wants it. Skwisgaar, loans me a guitar? I does it that way insteads.”  
“That’s your fret hand?” Toki nodded, and the doctor agreed, “That would indeed count as therapy.”

They left, detouring through the studio to retrieve one of Skwisgaar’s spare guitars, then back to their rooms. Skwisgaar followed Toki into his.  
“Don’ts you got goils to go fucks?”  
Skwisgaar shook his head and sat down. “Dat amn’st working, I can’ts forgets.”  
“And you thinks I can?”  
“Toki, I ams so sorries. Sorries for what I dids to you.”  
He waved it off. “You couldn’t have dones if I didn’t lets you.”

“Why _dids_ you does it? Why dids you saves me?”  
Toki shrugged. “I just couldn’ts does it couldn’ts be the one to kills you, nots when you still might gets saves. And I could affords to lose, you couldn’ts.”  
“But I hurts you.”  
“You tried nots to, that means lots. I don’ts even wants to think how it woulds has been losing to anybodies else.”  
“Terribles.” He wished he could forget.

They were sitting together, faces inched apart. Skwisgaar had a sudden urge to kiss Toki on the forehead, so he did so.  
Toki looked up in surprise, but didn’t back away. “Do you thinks it woulds help?”  
“I has no idea.” Skwisgaar didn’t have to ask what he was talking about, he knew.  
“Tries it.”  
And so he did, kissing Toki again, this time on the lips. After a brief hesitation, the kiss was returned.

For the first time, the memories _didn’t_ rush back.   
Keeping their hands to themselves they kissed a while longer, their mouths the only point of contact.  
Then Toki lowered his head and shifted enough to press it lightly against Skwisgaar’s chest.   
After a moment of hesitation, Skwisgaar put an arm around him and held him, and Toki’s arms suddenly wrapped around him in return.  
Skwisgaar froze for a moment, expecting the memories, but they didn’t come. They sat that way for a long time.

****

His hand now free, Toki had finally shaved properly. He had a few scars that would fade away with time, but otherwise had completely healed. Skwisgaar was amused by the new smoothness, even though it made him look really young.  
Toki had ben playing his borrowed guitar, forcing his hand toward it’s former dexterity. Progress was slow, but the potential was there. His playing actually sounded pretty horrible at the moment, some fingers lagged more than others and got the notes all scrabbled up, but he kept trying.

Nathan had been pushing for a show, just a single appearance, mostly to see what sort of perks came with being signed. They’d all heard of stars demanding all sorts of things, and were thinking up silly things they could demand for fun.  
Skwisgaar was nervous about playing live again, he couldn’t forget that nightmare he’d had. There had been many other versions of it since, but that first one still stood out in his mind as the worst. He kept quiet though, and hoped he could somehow get through it.

He hadn’t kissed Toki again, he felt a little weird about doing it in the first place. Mostly because of how oddly _right_ it had felt. The orgies resumed, but he was just going through the motions. Skwisgaar knew he had to somehow get past everything, and he knew no other way to go about it.  
When the women didn’t repel the thoughts, he took to drinking more. That sometimes worked, but never always. Perhaps a combination then?

Toki hadn’t come to his bed in a long while, hopefully that meant he was doing better. And Skwisgaar hadn’t gone to him either, he felt that he really didn’t have the right. If sharing his however briefly with women was hard, how much harder must it be for Toki to share a bed with him? After what he’d done to him...  
Yes, Toki had allowed him to win, but that knowledge had no effect on the lingering guilt he couldn’t shake.  
It was so lonely this way though, no one else could ever understand.

And then there was the incident with one of his women.  
He’d been pretty drunk and it had been late, and somehow he’d neglected to send her away afterwards like he always sent them. Always until now.  
She was a big woman, but she’d been sort of fun. His tastes had been turning from the usual hot chicks to the elderly or out of shape ones, they just seemed less threatening to his tortured brain. But this time, he’d basically just passed out afterwards.

_The man had shoved him down before he could even try to fight back, pinning Skwisgaar to the floor. The lights hurt his eyes.  
They must have given him more drugs this time, he couldn’t even remember the walk to the ring. And this was nowhere close to a fair match! There was no way this man was a fuck boy, he was too scarred and ugly. This was a sacrifice.  
The man pinned Skwisgaar’s arms above his head effortlessly, then shoved one large thigh between his, forcing his legs apart.  
The man was grinning through jagged broken teeth._

Skwisgaar woke up suddenly, sitting up and pushing to escape the weight that pinned his leg.  
It took a moment for his mind to clear enough to realize he was safe in his own bed, and the leg belonged to the woman he’d neglected to throw out when he was done with her.  
She was stirring awake, but it looked like he hadn’t actually screamed out loud. That was good. The shakes were trying to rise, but he fought them, not wanting her to see.  
He had to get rid of her _now_.

She gazed up at him in the moonlight. “What’s the matter Darlin’?”  
“You needs to go now.” He knew that was rude, but he had to get her out of there before he broke down.  
“It’s the middle of the night!”  
“I don’ts care, sorries, you goes now!”  
Clearly a little pissed off, she rolled out of bed and pulled on her dress. And then her shoes, which had many tiny buckles that just _had_ to be fastened.  
Skwisgaar didn’t move, both hands clenched tight under his blanket, fighting to hold himself together just long enough.

She collected her purse, then turned like she wanted to talk.  
No, that wouldn’t do! Skwisgaar jumped up, practically pushing her out the door, watching as she huffed off out of sight around the corner.  
He let go then, sliding down the wall, sitting in the empty hallway and shaking uncontrollably. He tried to keep quiet, but some sounds snuck out anyway.

He didn’t know Toki was there until he slid down the wall beside him. “You dreams again?”  
“Ja.” Skwisgaar took a few shaky breaths. “Why won’t dey goes aways?”  
Toki stood, holding out his hands. “Comes on, let’s go back to beds.”  
Good idea, someone might come along. Skwisgaar let himself be pulled to his feet, and Toki led him back into his room. Together they climbed into the big white bed, Skwisgaar still naked and Toki in only the boxers he’d come out in. They lay close, and the shakes were finally dissipating.

“You wants to talks about it?” Toki reached out and placed a hand lightly on Skwisgaar’s chest, feeling his heartbeat.  
“Does dat help?” He covered the hand with his own, lacing their fingers together.  
“I don’ts know, I never tries it.”  
Might as well try it then, everything else had failed him. “Toki? How many of de fights dids you ever lose?”  
“Onlies the last one.”  
“But you breaks you’s hand!”  
“I breaks it _winnings_.”

He hadn’t realized Toki had been that good. “ So how many times did dey use you for fucksing?”  
Toki knew what he meant. “Twice befores you, once afters.”  
That seemed like an awful lot, he’d been given two to four days rest in between his matches. “So manies?”  
“When you wins, they throws you back in sooner. The time afters you, I think they suspects I lets you win and they was testings me with another three times guy.” 

“Was it hardser?”  
“I hits him reallies hard foist, if he was lucky he never even wokes up agains.” Tok shuddered. “But I dreams abouts him.”  
“Tells me?”  
“It’s _horribles_! I dreams I’s fucksing him like I has to, but I looks down and he’s _deads_! There’s maggots _everywhere_ , and all overs me, and I’s trying to gets them off and I always wakes up then!”  
Skwisgaar squeezed his hand and waited for Toki to calm down again.

“I jus wants to be normals again.”  
“I don’ts even know what normals is.”  
Skwisgaar turned his head, Toki’s pale eyes shone in the moonlight. “Does you tink we can ever be okays?” He brought their hands to his mouth, kissing Toki’s scarred knuckles softly.  
Toki shifted down a bit, and moved into the space between Skwisgaar’s arm and body, resting his head on his shoulder. He curled one leg up, snuggling close.

It was similar to the position the woman had been in when all the latest trouble started, but with Toki it felt different. Skwisgaar wasn’t sure why. Toki was certainly stronger than him, and had been responsible for the death of at least one person, yet he didn’t feel threatened at all.  
Maybe it was the way Toki clung to him, badly needing the same comfort he himself was giving.  
Skwisgaar felt bad about that, Toki had been through so much more than he had. Untangling their fingers, he wrapped both arms around his friend and kissed him on the forehead.  
Toki just sighed and squeezed him back.

****

They were practicing a lot, the first show was only days away. Yes, the _first_ one, the label had insisted on at least two so they were doing two.  
The nightmares had returned full force, and Skwisgaar was sleeping with Toki nearly every night now. There were still women, they were therapy even if nothing else, but at night there was only Toki.  
They alternated beds randomly, Skwisgaar’s was a lot bigger but they tended to sleep so entwined that it didn’t really matter. Sometimes they kissed. Typically though, they tended to do only one or the other; kiss without otherwise touching or touch without kissing. 

Since they had a show coming up, practices had been increased.  
Skwisgaar was still worried, but at least he was playing very well, that counted for something. Finally getting back to his room late one night after some semi-mandatory hot tub band time, Skwisgaar found Toki sitting on his bed holding something he’d forgotten he had. “Where the fucks dids you finds dat?” He hadn’t even seen it himself in years...

"I was just lookings at all you’s old band shirts! Wowee, you gots a lot of them and you never even wears them! But they’s was coverings a box, I thought it mights be more shirts, but this was in it.”  
That silly old devil bear, a carnival prize that he’d won and kept for reasons he couldn’t remember. “You can has it if you wants.”  
“Okays!” Toki grinned at Skwisgaar and gave the bear a squeeze. 

Deciding he was clean enough from being in the hot tub, Skwisgaar just stripped for bed and turned off the light. He was amused when Toki set the bear on his pillow, then abandoned it to snuggle into his usual position. He stroked Toki’s face, feeling something different. “Ams you’s hand hurtsing agains?”  
“Not really, whys?”  
“You misses some spots.” Skwisgaar rubbed the stubbly patches with his fingers.  
“Noes, I’s growsing something really cool! You’ll sees.” He got a chuckle in reply, and they went to sleep.

Skwisgaar woke up when Toki jerked away from him and jumped out of bed, brushing and clawing at himself. “Toki!” He turned on the light, knowing it must be that nightmare. “Toki! Stop, you’s okays!”  
Toki didn’t stop. “I can _feels_ them!”  
Skwisgaar got up and went to him, holding him tight against his chest. “Shh. Listens to mine heart, I ams not deads. You’s safe.”

Toki calmed down a little, but was still squirmy.  
“Comes on.” Skwisgaar pulled back and took Toki’s hands. “We takes a shower, okays? Washes off alls de imaginary bugs.”  
Toki allowed himself to be led into the bathroom, then into the shower. The warm water seemed to calm him further, and he stood quietly as Skwisgaar washed him.  
Then still passive, he allowed Skwisgaar to dry him and lead him back to bed.

Now though, he was looking at the fur blanket like it was a week-old fly-blown rotting carcass.  
Skwisgaar pulled the blanket all the way aside and sprawled in the middle of the bed. “See? No bugs. Bugs amn’ts allowed in mine bed.” He turned, moving into a normal sleeping position. “Comes on.”  
Cautiously, Toki climbed back on the bed.   
When he lay down beside him, Skwisgaar flipped the blanket back over them both.

****

Toki’s guitar playing had steadily improved, it actually sounded like playing now. His fingers were still lagging a little, and his whole hand would hurt if he played too long, but he was getting there.  
He would sometimes go and listen when the band was practicing. Nobody ever seemed to mind him being there, (or really, even notice) but he always felt like he was intruding. He’d started trying to play their songs on his own though, they were really hard.

His new Fu Manchu had grown in nicely. Skwisgaar seemed to be amused with it, he liked to play with it when they were in bed.  
With the first concert date coming up though, schedules were full and they were spending less nights together.  
The change had been gradual, Skwisgaar would come back from practice or whatever exhausted and pretty much pass straight out, some days barely registering if Toki was even there.  
At least Toki had his new bear, it was better than nothing.

They both saw Jackson every now and then, but he’d settled into his new job and didn’t really go out of his way to seek them out.  
It wasn’t like they had actually been friends or anything anyway. More of a mutual respect in Toki’s case and tolerance in Skwisgaar’s, so there just wasn’t really even much to say.  
It was good to know he was part of their security though, they knew how capable he was.

****

There was a lot of tension in the haus, it seemed that the new label was quite insistent on how things would be done. Ofdensen didn’t like changes, especially where security was concerned, but he wasn’t being allowed a choice at this point.  
The band had all increased their drinking and drug use, that was how they coped. Well, Pickles and Magnus were doing most of the drugs, but that was just business as usual.  
Skwisgaar had gone to the manager privately to request that Toki be allowed to go with them, and permission had been granted. 

The show was now two days away, they would leave in the morning.  
They were in Toki’s bed, and Skwisgaar was having a last minute freak out. It was still the lights that worried him the most. “I won’ts be ables to see! What if I jus freezes up and can’ts even plays?!”  
“Skwisgaar, calms down!” Toki pulled him tight. “I’s goings to be there, okays? I’ll watches you’s back, if anybodies jumps on stage and tries to mess with you, I’ll kicks their asses!”

They all left early the next day, the plan was to get to the hotel they would be staying at ahead of time and relax there. That way they wouldn’t be all rushing to arrive at the last minute.  
They had been reserved only five rooms in all, so they were traveling with minimal staff and would have to share. The label may have intended for the band members to have one room each, but Ofdensen was bringing some medics anyway. He wanted guards, but had been reassured that the hotel had truly excellent security.

Rooms had been assigned: Toki with Skwisgaar, of course. Pickles and Magnus, and Murderface with Nathan, who could at least be counted on not to kill the man. The medics were placed in both the remaining room and sharing Charles’s own. They were all on the very top floor, and the view was pretty good.  
They were advised to just relax until show time, order room service if they wanted, and asked to stay in their rooms for security reasons.

Skwisgaar hadn’t made any special demands besides requesting some alcohol, he just hadn’t been able to think of anything. It was a really nice hotel though, too bad the odds were high that at least one of their rooms would sustain major damage before they left.  
Adjusting the pillows to sit propped against the wall, Skwisgaar grabbed a bottle and turned on the TV. Toki flopped down the opposite way beside him, lying on his stomach and propping his head in his hands. 

Drinking a little and feeling the need to practice, Skwisgaar muted the TV. That didn’t seem to bother Toki very much, he kept watching it anyway.   
After a bit, Toki got bored and started making up his own dialog.  
This was very distracting, but too funny for Skwisgaar to get mad about. Eventually he ended up paying more attention to Toki than the guitar, but at least he wasn’t worrying. 

****

Ofdensen collected them, and they all went down to the show together. None of them were exactly sober, but they were all more than okay enough to play.   
Skwisgaar paused backstage, all his fears rushing back.  
Making sure nobody was looking, Toki gave him a quick hug. “Don’ts worry, I gots your back. And you gots this heavies guitar, if somebody messes with you, you’s can beats them with it and nots even has to use your hands.”

Skwisgaar looked down at his guitar, he’d never considered it as a weapon before. But Toki was right, getting hit with a guitar would definitely fuck somebody up. He wasn’t defenseless after all!  
“Gets out there!” Toki gave him a little push.  
They were waiting for him. With a nod, Skwisgaar stepped out into the lights.   
The cheering was the screams of his fans, only that. He was okay!

They played a full set, and Skwisgaar was able to completely focus on his music, playing as only he was capable.  
He couldn’t see the audience at all through the lights, but when he’d glance back he could see Toki back out of the way where no one but himself could see him. That helped a lot too.  
Skwisgaar was almost disappointed when the show came to an end. He stood with the others, holding his guitar high. The cheers were deafening.

****

The after party started in the hotel’s bar, the band was given free drinks for the night and they were being sure not to waste that privilege.  
Skwisgaar was still wearing his guitar, he discovered that he felt much safer when he had it with him.  
Toki was down there with them somewhere, but he’d lost track of him in the crowd. Typical Toki, staying in the shadows when Skwisgaar was doing band things.  
They were all getting very drunk very fast.

Things became a blur, bits and pieces floating like snapshots in a windstorm.  
A woman in a cocktail dress cutting lines on a table.  
Nathan holding Pickles over his head and yelling something about dwarf tossing, both of them laughing too much.  
Some girl giving Toki a lap dance.  
Murderface being slapped by some woman whose top he had just pulled down, probably on accident.

Feeling very unsteady, Skwisgaar stumbled to a table and sat down, nearly missing the chair.   
Toki staggered over and joined him, also clearly wasted. He wasn’t included in the free drinks, but clearly somebody had been supplying him. “Skwisgaar, can I has the key? I think I needs to pass outs.”  
“I tink I does too, actuallies.” He scanned the crowd, unable to spot any of his bandmates. “Fucks it, let’s goes.”  
They somehow made it to their room, where Toki immediately dropped face down across one bed and didn’t move again.

Skwisgaar sat down and was trying to figure out how to get his boots off without falling over when there was a knock at the door.  
It was Ofdensen, Nathan and Murderface were with him. “Oh good, you’re accounted for. Toki too?”  
Skwisgaar nodded.  
“We can’t find Magnus and Pickles, have you seen them?”  
“Nots for a long times? I can’ts remembers.”

Just then, the manager got a phone call. “Yes? I see. Where exactly?” He snapped the phone shut. “They’ve found Pickles.” Turning and heading down the hallway, Ofdensen banged on a door and the medics filed out to join them.  
Skwisgaar glanced back at Toki, who was dead to the world, then followed the others. Was Pickles okay? Where was Magnus? What was going on?

They found Pickles in the service elevator, an employee had complained. He was high as fuck, but that wasn’t extremely unusual for him.  
Ofdensen patted his face, trying to get him alert enough to talk. “Pickles, where’s Magnus?”  
“Duuuuuuude.... I dunno, he said he was tired? Look in tha rooooom.”  
“I already did, he’s not there.”  
“Look agaiiiin...”  
Leaving Pickles to be carried by some of the medics, the rest of them headed to the room. 

Ofdensen opened the door again. There was still no one in sight, but this time he entered the room to be absolutely sure.  
There on the floor on the other side of the beds was Magnus, and he looked very bad. As in the dead kind of bad.  
The gears scooped him up, working on him even as they carried him from the room. Ofdensen followed them, and the three of them that were left stood staring after them all.

“Holy schit, man.”  
“This _cannot_ be fucking happening!” Nathan punched a wall, through a wall actually. “What are we gonna do if he’s _dead_?”  
Skwisgaar couldn’t think of an answer. This sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen, not to _them_ anyway. He guessed the were staying the night here now.  
Murderface stabbed his knife into an empty bed and stalked out of the room.

Skwisgaar went back to his room, Toki was still on the bed but awake now.  
Skwisgaar crawled straight into his arms, needing someone to hold, needing to be held.  
“What’s wrong? What happens?”  
He couldn’t even say it, he just held on. Pickles was probably okay. Magnus probably wasn’t. All he could do was wait for the word.  
Very drunk and confused but wanting to help, Toki held him.

A short while later, there was a knock at the door. Skwisgaar pulled himself up and went to answer it.  
It was Nathan. “Ofdensen called, Magnus didn’t make it. We’re fucked.”  
“Pickle?”  
“Nah, he’s gonna be fine. You know him.”   
“What dids dey takes?” Had it been bad drugs, or just to many?  
“Uh, I don’t know? Pickles can’t remember. Anyway, I’m just reporting. Oh and we’re leaving in the morning.”

When Nathan was gone, Skwisgaar pulled off his boots and shirt and crawled into bed with Toki, really needing to be held some more.  
Toki had heard their conversation, of course. “Magnus is _deads_?! Now whats?”  
“I has no idea. I can’ts be tinking abouts dis anymores tonight, I needs to jus sleeps.”  
“Okays, sleeps then.”  
But sleep was a long time coming.

****

Back at Mordhaus, they were having a band meeting. It seemed that their new label was not at all happy with them for letting something like this happen in their first show. And they were very unwilling to cancel the other planned show, it had been suggested that they play with a single guitarist.  
Nathan was actually listening intently for a change. “So you’re telling us we have a week to find and train a new guitarist?”  
Ofdensen nodded. “Or play with only Skwisgaar, that’s what they’re suggesting.”

“THIS IS BULLSHIT! We can’t play with one guitar, it’ll fuck up our whole sound!”  
“He’s raight, but I dunno what tha feck we’re gonna do.”  
“Beschides, hiring people scucksch.”  
“If you don’t play, we’ll have to repay the signing bonus. And you already spent it all.”  
“It’s _impossible_!”  
“No it amn’ts.”

They all turned to Skwisgaar, looking at him like he’d gone crazy.  
“It’s not impossibles, lets Toki plays.”  
“Huh. Well that would be a lot less weird than holding auditions and shit, I mean, he’s been around for a while already. Can he do it?”  
Skwisgaar wasn’t positive. “Goods enough to gets by anyways.”  
There were general nods of agreement, so Ofdensen added his own. “Skwisgaar, go get him.”

Luck was with him, he caught Toki in his room. “Toki, you has to comes to de band meetings!”  
“Whys?” He was worried, had he done something wrong?  
“We needs you to be playsing wit us next week. Dey won’ts let us nots play, and we can’t possiblies find somebody else dat fast.”  
Toki was just trying to process this. “You wants me to plays with Dethklok?! For reals?”  
“Ja, you knows most of de songs alreadies!”  
Toki grabbed him and hugged him so hard that Skwisgaar wondered if his poor ribs could take it. “Wowee, okays!”

****

It was time for practice, and Pickles had a surprise. “Alreet Toki, if yer gonna be our gituarist ya gatta have yer own gituar.” He grabbed it from behind the couch and handed it over.  
Toki just squealed in excitement.  
Skwisgaar was a little less impressed. “You gots him a V’s? Explorers ams better.”  
“Dude, we didn’t wantcha ta match.”  
“Oh wowee, thanks you, Pickle!”  
“No Toki, dude, don’t hug me...” But it was too late. Pickles grunted a little as he was squeezed.

Practice itself went better than any of them had dared to hope, Toki actually was pretty good and did indeed know their songs. It was going to be okay.  
Of course losing Magnus sucked, he was their friend, but the just didn’t have time to dwell on it too much at the moment.  
Skwisgaar noticed Toki rubbing his hand when they finished. “It ams hurtsing?”  
“Yeah, a little bits. Don’ts worry, I can plays!”  
“Pfft, we will jus get de medics to gives you someting for it.”

“Hot tub time, come on! “ Nathan called the end of practice. “Uh, Toki too!”  
Toki, who had never been included in band hot tub time, was worried. He hung back as the others left the room. “Skwisgaar!”  
“Whats?”  
“I don’ts has no swin pants!”  
“So whats? Jus goes in you’s underwear, dats what we does mostly.”  
That seemed to confuse him. “But Skwisgaar, you don’ts wear underwears!”  
"Ja, I knows.”

The others were just getting in. Pickles and Nathan wore briefs, white and black respectively, and Murderface has boxers like Toki. He felt a lot better about stripping then, or at least he did until Skwisgaar stripped naked and stepped in that way. Then it was a little weird again, despite the fact that he slept with naked Skwisgaar on a semi-regular basis.  
Feeling shy about wearing so little in front of them, Toki sank down in the water up to his neck. He’d never been in a hot tub before, much less with Dethklok, and it was pretty nice.

Did that mean...? “Does this means I’s in Dethklok nows?”  
“Ja.” Skwisgaar glanced around, making sure there were no objections. “You ams in Dethklok.”  
Toki shot both arms up in the air in victory, splashing them all a little, and sunk out of sight.  
When he didn’t come back up, Skwisgaar grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the surface. “You amn’ts allowed to drowns, dildos.”  
Toki was still grinning. “I’s not goings to drowns, I can holds my breath a longs time! I does it in the bathtubs a lots!” 

****

They got a few more practices in, and emergency paperwork was filed with Ofdensen and with the label. Toki Wartooth was officially the new member of Dethklok.  
Worried that their new guitarist had zero show experience, the practice now included lessons on how to move on stage. Playing guitar _and_ moving around was harder then just playing! He tried to do what they told him, but was pretty sure he just looked stupid. It didn’t help that Pickles and Murderface, who were doing most of the instructing, didn’t even agree on techniques.

Finally, Nathan stepped in. “Stop! Okay, Toki? Get over there with Skwisgaar and copy what he does! Skwisgaar, play it up!”  
Skwisgaar didn’t bother with the showy stuff during practice, but of course he could do it if he wanted. He just shrugged.  
“We’re going to do one more song, now make a fucking show of it!”  
And so they played, Skwisgaar getting into it and Toki doing his best to mimic the moves. 

Although Skwisgaar played with his eyes closed a lot, especially when he was throwing his head around this much, this time he watched Toki.   
Toki was copying the best he could, but he was usually a fraction of a second behind.  
Still, they moved together well, Nathan was watching in admiration. They actually looked a lot better together then Skwisgaar and Magnus had, so the live shows would be improved.  
Song over, everyone was reasonably pleased and called it a day.

****

The show went about the same as before, they got there hours ahead of time. Wanting to keep a closer eye on Pickles this time, Ofdensen himself was his roommate. The others were placed as before.  
As show time approached, Skwisgaar was getting nervous again. Sure he’d managed fine the last time, but what if it happened _this_ time instead? Funny, he’d spent his whole life trying to be in the spotlight, now he worried when it shone his way.  
To distract himself, he did his corpse paint and then Toki’s.

It was time to go. Toki couldn’t stop smiling, which looked kind of weird in corpse paint. Skwisgaar was just trying ot pretend that he was fine.  
He didn’t fool Toki, who hugged him. “Don’ts worry, Skwisgaar, you gots you’s guitar and I’s goings to be right theres with you!” He stretched, kissing Skwisgaar carefully so he wouldn’t mess up their paint. They didn’t kiss all that often, but when they did they tended to savor it.

Soon though, the knock came and they all headed down to the show.  
Nathan went out first, making an announcement about the guitarist change. Murderface went out and to his side of the stage.  
Pickles gave Toki an encouraging pat on the shoulder, and went to his drums.  
It was time. Skwisgaar looked over to see Toki grinning up at him, he couldn’t help but smile back.  
They stepped out into the lights together. 

**** **** **** **** ****

 _The following are a few of the media headlines following the show:_

DETHKLOK’S BEST SHOW YET! 

IT’S AMAZING! DETHKLOK’S LAST ALBUM MAKING IT’S WAY BACK UP THE CHARTS!

DOZENS KILLED AS RIOTING BREAKS OUT AT DETHKLOK CONCERT 

DETHKLOK ROCKS HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE!


End file.
